This page is written for the single person in a relationship with someone who is married, and it is written without a lecture, because the reader has heard the lecture and has come for something the lecture cannot give, which is what their own chart says. It says four things. What draws them to the unavailable: the fifth lord in the twelfth or the eighth, Venus with Rahu or Ketu, Rahu on the fifth, which is a pattern of the houses and a season, and not a verdict on their worth. Which house the relationship lives in, the twelfth or the eighth, and what that house does to relationships that live in it. Whether their own marriage window, the seventh lord’s sub-period that would carry a bond of their own, is passing while they wait, which is the reading’s most useful and least welcome sentence. And what the other person’s chart can say, which is whether their marriage is ending on its own schedule, and cannot say, which is whether they will leave for the native, since a chart reads a marriage’s seasons and not a person’s choice. The reading of this situation is a reading of the native’s own life first, and the married person enters it as a season and a set of houses, and the page holds to that, because the alternative, the reading that promises he will leave in Jupiter’s period, is the cruellest one this subject sells.
It belongs to the complete relationship astrology guide. The infidelity signatures inside a marriage, read from the married person’s side, are the KP page’s, cheating and infidelity in KP; whether a marriage is ending, from the married person’s chart, is the troubled-marriage cluster’s, in the divorce signs in the birth chart and Divorce or Reconcile?; and the relationship hidden from the world by two people who are both free is the earlier page, Secret Relationships in the Chart.
Conventions used. Parashari astrology, whole-sign houses, Lahiri ayanamsa, Vimshottari dasha; the native’s own chart read first and fully, the fifth and seventh for the capacity, the twelfth and eighth for the relationship’s house, the seventh lord’s periods for the native’s own window; the married person’s chart, when the native has it, read for their marriage’s own seasons from the seventh, its lord and the second, and never for their choice; the third party’s houses in the native’s chart by derivation. The reading does not moralise and does not time anyone’s leaving; it reads the native’s seasons and says which the relationship belongs to. Nothing here is a remedy.
Your own chart first: what draws you, which house this lives in, and whether your own window is passing while you wait.
A relationship consultation in this situation reads your chart before anyone else's: the pattern behind the draw to the unavailable, the house the relationship lives in and what that house does, the seventh lord's sub-period that would carry a bond of your own and whether it is running now; and, if you have the other person's details, their marriage's own seasons, read for what a chart can say and not for what it cannot.
In this article
- Your own chart first: why the reading begins here
- What draws you to the unavailable: the pattern and the season
- The house the relationship lives in: the twelfth, or the eighth
- The window you may be missing: your own seventh lord’s season
- Eight signatures in the single partner’s chart
- The other person’s chart: their marriage’s seasons, and not their choice
- “Will he leave his wife”: the question, and what the chart does with it
- The third party’s houses in your own chart
- The horary form, and what it reveals about who the question is about
- What the reading refuses to time
- A worked chart: two years in the twelfth, and the window she almost spent
- Frequently asked questions
Your own chart first: why the reading begins here
The native in this situation arrives with a question about the other person, and the reading turns it round, not to avoid the question but because the other person’s chart cannot answer it and the native’s own can answer something better. The native’s chart holds the pattern that brought them here, the house the relationship lives in, the season it belongs to, and the window of their own that the season sits inside, and all four are readable and useful; the other person’s chart holds their marriage’s seasons and not their decision, which is the section below. So the reading opens the native’s fifth and seventh for the capacity and the pattern, the twelfth and eighth for the relationship’s house, the dasha table for the relationship’s season and the native’s own carriers, and only then, if the native has the details, the other chart. The order is not a judgment; it is the order in which the useful answers come, and a native who has been told “he will leave in such a year” by someone who read his chart alone has been given the one answer the chart does not contain, and has usually paid for it with the years the native’s own chart would have used differently. This page reads the native as the subject of their own life, which is what a chart is for, and the married person as a season in it, which is what a chart can read.
What draws you to the unavailable: the pattern and the season
The draw to a person who is not free is a pattern of the houses, and the one-sided love and secret relationship pages have read its signatures: the fifth lord in the twelfth, in the fifth lord in the twelfth, chooses the out of reach because the twelfth is where its feeling is safe; the fifth lord in the eighth, in the fifth lord in the eighth, chooses the secret and the intense; Venus with Rahu, in Venus with Rahu, wants what cannot be had; Venus with Ketu adores from a distance; Venus in the twelfth, in Venus in the twelfth, loves privately; Rahu on the fifth, in Rahu in the fifth, has the appetite for the unattainable romance. A native with two of these has the pattern, and the reading says so as a description of houses and not of character, since a fifth lord in the twelfth is a placement and not a flaw, and it says the thing the pattern’s owner most needs, which is that the pattern has seasons: the draw is strongest in the fifth lord’s, Rahu’s and Venus’s sub-periods and weakest in the seventh lord’s and Jupiter’s, and the relationship with the married person almost always began in one of the first three, which the native can check on their own table. A native without the pattern, whose fifth and seventh are clean and whose relationship with a married person began in a Rahu sub-period or under Rahu’s transit over the fifth, has a season and not a pattern, and is told that too, since the two need different sentences: the pattern needs the seasons named so it can be met knowing, and the season needs its end date.
The house the relationship lives in: the twelfth, or the eighth
A relationship with a married person lives in the twelfth or the eighth of the native’s chart, and which one says what it does to the native. The twelfth is the private and the far, the loss and the release: a relationship there is hidden, lived in the hours nobody sees, and it costs the native the twelfth’s price, the sense of being invisible, the private life that has no public form, and, in the twelfth’s own way, the loss that is built into it, since the twelfth is where things go to end. The eighth is the secret and the crisis, the intimacy and the transformation: a relationship there is intense, consuming, transforming, and it costs the eighth’s price, the crisis that comes with revelation and the transformation the native undergoes whether the relationship survives it or not; Venus in the eighth is its plainest signature. The house is read from the sub-period the relationship began in, the twelfth lord’s or the eighth lord’s, and from the placements above, and the reading tells the native which house they are in and what it does, because the twelfth-house native is waiting for a relationship to come into the light that the twelfth does not bring into the light, and the eighth-house native is being transformed by a relationship that will end in a crisis, and each should know which. Neither house is the seventh, which is the point: a relationship that lives in the twelfth or eighth is not a bond in the native’s chart, however it feels, and the bond’s house is doing something else in the meantime, which is the next section.
The window you may be missing: your own seventh lord’s season
The reading’s most useful and least welcome sentence is this one: the native’s own marriage window, the seventh lord’s sub-period, or Venus’s, or the second lord’s for a second marriage, that would carry a bond of the native’s own, may be running now or may be about to, and it is being spent on a relationship that lives in the twelfth. The double-window page’s logic applies with one chart: the native’s carrier sub-period is a season of two or three years in which a bond can form, it comes a few times in a life, and a native who spends it waiting for a married person’s decision has used a carrier’s season on a twelfth-house relationship, which the carrier cannot turn into a bond because the other person’s seventh is occupied. The reading names the native’s carrier sub-periods, running and coming, by date, with Jupiter’s transit over the seventh as the year, and says plainly: this is your window, it is open now or it opens in such a month, and the relationship you are in cannot use it. It also names the season after, since a native whose window is passing needs to know when the next one is; and it says the thing that is sometimes true, which is that the native’s window and the married person’s marriage’s ending season coincide, in which case the reading reads both, as the section on their chart describes, and says so without promising anything. The window is the reading’s gift to the native, and it is usually the reason they stop asking about the other person.
Eight signatures in the single partner’s chart
| Signature in your chart | What it draws you to, or where it puts the relationship | What the reading adds |
|---|---|---|
| 5th lord in the 12th | The out of reach; the relationship in the private and the far | A pattern; its seasons are the 5th lord’s and Venus’s sub-periods |
| 5th lord in the 8th, or Venus in the 8th | The secret and the intense; the relationship as crisis and transformation | The 8th’s price is the revelation; the reading names its season |
| Venus with Rahu, or Rahu on the 5th | The appetite for what cannot be had; the unattainable romance | Reverses when Rahu’s season ends; the dispositor decides whether anything remains |
| Venus with Ketu, or Venus in the 12th | Devotion from a distance; the private love | Gives without asking; the relationship can last for years unchanged |
| 7th lord in the 12th | The partner who is beyond reach by being elsewhere | The bond at a distance; the reading checks whether this is the pattern or the season |
| The relationship begun in the 12th or 8th lord’s sub-period, or Rahu’s | The relationship’s house named by its season | The season’s end date is the relationship’s; the reading gives it |
| Your 7th lord’s or Venus’s sub-period running or coming | Your own marriage window, being spent | The most useful sentence on the page; the dates |
| The Moon in the 12th, or afflicted | The heart that keeps its own counsel and cannot see from inside | The reading says what the Moon needs in order to see, which is usually another person’s eyes |
Two signatures from the first four rows is the pattern; the sixth row alone is the season; and the seventh row is the one the native came without and leaves with.
The other person’s chart: their marriage’s seasons, and not their choice
With the married person’s details, their chart is read for one thing, which is whether their marriage is in an ending season of its own, by the rules the troubled-marriage cluster gives: the seventh lord’s condition, the twelfth or eighth lord’s sub-period running, Saturn’s transit over their seventh, the second house’s state, and the junction between major periods, read in the troubled marriage guide. A marriage that is in its ending season by its own chart is ending on its own schedule, and the native’s presence is a fact in it and not its cause; a marriage that is not in an ending season is not ending, whatever is said in the twelfth-house hours, and the native who is told so has been given the truth the other person cannot give them. What the chart does not read is the choice: whether the married person will leave, for whom, and when, is a decision, and a chart reads seasons and not decisions, and a reading that says “his chart shows he will leave you his wife in such a year” has read a season of the marriage and invented a person’s act from it. The reading also does not read the married person’s chart for their feelings, which the page on what another person feels covers, and it does not read the spouse’s chart at all, which the native sometimes has and sometimes offers; the spouse is a person who has not asked, and the reading declines. What the native receives is the marriage’s season, if it is in one, and the sentence that the season is the marriage’s and the choice is the person’s, and the dates of both seasons, theirs and the native’s own, laid side by side, which is the whole of what two charts can say here.
“Will he leave his wife”: the question, and what the chart does with it
The question arrives in those words, and the reading does three things with it. It reads the native’s own chart for the season the relationship belongs to and the window it is spending, as the sections above describe, which is the part of the question the chart can fully answer, since the native is the subject of their own chart. It reads the married person’s chart, if the native has it, for whether the marriage is in an ending season of its own, which is the part the chart can partly answer. And it declines the rest, which is the part the question was actually asking, whether a person will make a choice, because a chart does not contain a choice and a reading that supplies one is a guess dressed as a season. The decline is said plainly and without a lecture: the marriage’s season is such, the native’s own season is such, and the leaving is his and not the chart’s, and the reading will not give a date for it because there is no honest date to give. What the reading offers in place of the date is the two calendars side by side, and the observation that a native who has both can see, without anyone predicting anything, whether the two seasons could coincide and whether their own window is being spent in the meantime; most natives, given the two calendars, decide something in the following weeks that no prediction would have let them decide, which is the reading’s use.
The third party’s houses in your own chart
The married person is the native’s seventh house, since the seventh is any partner, and the derived houses give the rest of their life as it stands in the native’s chart, by the rotation the site’s derived-house page sets out in rotating the chart: their spouse is the seventh from the seventh, which is the native’s own first house, a piece of geometry worth a moment, since it says the other person’s marriage is, in the native’s chart, the native’s own self, the thing the relationship is really about; their children are the fifth from the seventh, the native’s eleventh, the circle the native would join; their home is the fourth from the seventh, the native’s tenth, their standing; their money the second from the seventh, the native’s eighth. A native who reads the third party’s houses in their own chart finds the married person’s whole life sitting in their own houses, which is a description of what the native has taken on, and the reading gives it as such: the spouse in the native’s first, the children in the native’s eleventh, the home in the native’s tenth, and the relationship itself in the twelfth or eighth, which is a map of a life lived through someone else’s houses. It is also, read carefully, the map of where the strain falls: the first house is the native themselves, and the third party’s spouse there is the reason the relationship costs the native their sense of self, which the twelfth’s invisibility and the eighth’s transformation both describe from the other side.
The horary form, and what it reveals about who the question is about
Without the married person’s details, the question is asked as a horary, and the horary’s geometry says something the native has usually not noticed. In a horary about a relationship, the querent is the first house and the other person the seventh, as the horary pages set out in relationship horary without a birth time; the other person’s marriage is their seventh, the seventh from the seventh, the querent’s own first house; so the question “will he leave his wife” is, in the horary’s own arithmetic, a question about the querent’s first house, which is to say about the querent. The horary reads the seventh lord’s condition, the reception and the aspect between the first and seventh lords, and the Moon, and it answers the question as asked; but the geometry answers the question underneath, and the reading says so: the chart has put his marriage in your own house, and it is telling you that the question is about you, your season and your window, which is where the natal reading began. The horary’s honest limit holds here as everywhere: asked once, sincerely, on a day the question is real, and read beside the natal chart; asked weekly, it charts the worry. The horary about a married person is also the one most often asked with a pre-decided answer, and the Moon’s condition, void or separating, is the horary’s way of saying the querent has already decided, which the reading reads and reports as the querent’s own mind.
What the reading refuses to time
The reading refuses to time the married person’s leaving, for the reasons above: a chart reads a marriage’s seasons and not a person’s choice, and the date would be invented. It refuses to read the spouse’s chart, since the spouse has not asked. It refuses to read the married person’s chart for their feelings toward the native, which is the earlier page’s subject and is read, there, only from a chart read with its owner’s knowledge. It refuses a remedy, since none makes anyone leave anyone. And it refuses the moral lecture, since the native has had it and it is not what a chart is for. What the reading does is on this page: the pattern and its seasons, the house and its price, the native’s own window by date, the marriage’s season by its own chart if the native has it, the two calendars side by side, and the third party’s houses in the native’s own. Where the relationship harms the native, and some of these do, in the eighth’s way, the page on the relationship that harms is the one to read next; and where the native decides, from the two calendars, to end the relationship, the months after are read in the moving-on page, with the one addition that a twelfth-house relationship’s ending is a twelfth-house loss, private and unwitnessed, and the native should tell one person, which is the eleventh house undoing the twelfth.
A worked chart: two years in the twelfth, and the window she almost spent
A Virgo lagna woman, particulars altered, thirty-one when she came, two years into a relationship with a married colleague, asking whether he would leave. Her chart: Venus, lord of the second and ninth, in Leo in the twelfth, with Rahu; Mercury, the lagna lord and lord of the tenth, in Cancer in the eleventh; Jupiter, lord of the fourth and seventh, in Capricorn in the fifth, debilitated, with Mars, lord of the third and eighth, exalted beside it, the fall cancelled; the Sun, lord of the twelfth, in Leo in the twelfth with Venus and Rahu, its own sign; the Moon, lord of the eleventh, in Pisces in the seventh; Saturn, lord of the fifth and sixth, in Scorpio in the third; Ketu in Aquarius in the sixth. Signatures from the table: Venus in the twelfth with Rahu, the private love and the appetite for what cannot be had, the pattern’s two strongest rows in one place; the seventh lord in the fifth, which is a join, the capacity for a love marriage, which was the sentence that mattered; and the Moon in the seventh, the heart that finds its partner in a bond and had put itself, for two years, in a house that is not one.
The reading did the order. Her own chart first: the relationship had begun in Sun-Mercury, the twelfth lord’s major period with the lagna lord’s sub-period, the colleague met through the eleventh house where Mercury sits, and it lived in the twelfth by the major period’s house, with Venus and Rahu there as the pattern; the Sun’s period had a year left, its last sub-period Venus’s, the planet in the twelfth, and the Moon’s followed, the eleventh lord’s, with the Moon in the seventh, ten years of the bond’s house carrying the heart, and Moon-Jupiter, the seventh lord’s sub-period, the fifth lord’s join with the seventh, fell in its third year, with Jupiter transiting Pisces, her seventh, in that year: her own marriage window, nearly four years off, a love marriage’s window by the join, and the relationship in the twelfth could not use it. His chart, which she had: a marriage not in an ending season, the seventh lord dignified, no twelfth or eighth lord’s sub-period running or coming for four years, Saturn not over his seventh; the marriage was not ending on its own schedule, and the reading said so, and declined the rest. The two calendars side by side said what the reading does not need to say: her window opened in under four years and his marriage’s ending season, if it came, was four years off and not coming by anything his chart showed, and the choice was his and the chart had no date for it. The third party’s houses: his wife in her first house, which she had felt as the loss of herself for two years and had not had a word for. She ended the relationship in the last months of the Sun’s period, told one friend, the eleventh undoing the twelfth, and met, in Moon-Jupiter, with Jupiter in Pisces, a man who was free, through the eleventh, her friend’s circle, which is where the Moon sat by lordship; they married in the same sub-period, the seventh lord’s, the join’s love marriage. The reading had not predicted his leaving, because it could not; it had read her window, and she had used it.
Frequently asked questions
Will he leave his wife for me, according to astrology?
A chart reads a marriage’s seasons and not a person’s choice, so the reading declines to time a leaving and says why. What it can read is your own chart, for the pattern that drew you, the house the relationship lives in and your own marriage window that may be passing; and his chart, if you have it, for whether the marriage is in an ending season of its own by the troubled-marriage rules. The two calendars laid side by side let you see, without anyone predicting, whether the seasons could coincide and what your own window is being spent on.
What does it mean in my chart if I keep falling for married or unavailable people?
A pattern of the houses, not a verdict on your worth: the fifth lord in the twelfth chooses the out of reach because the twelfth is where its feeling is safe, the fifth lord or Venus in the eighth chooses the secret and intense, Venus with Rahu or Rahu on the fifth wants what cannot be had, Venus with Ketu or in the twelfth loves privately. The pattern has seasons, strongest in the fifth lord’s, Rahu’s and Venus’s sub-periods and weakest in the seventh lord’s and Jupiter’s, and the reading names them so the pattern is met knowing.
Which house shows a relationship with a married person?
The twelfth, the private and the far, where the relationship is hidden and carries the twelfth’s loss inside it, or the eighth, the secret and the crisis, where it is intense and transforming and ends in a revelation; the house is read from the sub-period the relationship began in and from the placements of the fifth lord and Venus. Neither is the seventh, which is the point: a relationship in the twelfth or eighth is not a bond in your chart however it feels, and your seventh is doing something else in the meantime.
Can astrology tell if his marriage is ending?
From his own chart, read for the marriage’s seasons by the troubled-marriage rules, the seventh lord’s condition, a twelfth or eighth lord’s sub-period, Saturn’s transit over his seventh, the second house and the junction between major periods: a marriage in its ending season is ending on its own schedule, and one that is not is not ending whatever is said in private. What his chart does not read is whether he will leave, for whom or when, which is a choice and not a season, and the reading does not read his wife’s chart, since she has not asked.
Am I wasting my marriage chances waiting for a married man?
The reading answers this with dates: your own marriage window is the seventh lord’s, Venus’s or, for a second marriage, the second lord’s sub-period, with Jupiter over your seventh as the year, and it comes a few times in a life; a relationship in the twelfth cannot use it, because the other person’s seventh is occupied. The reading names your windows, running and coming, by date, and says whether one is being spent now, which is usually the sentence that decides what the native does next.
How is a married person’s family seen in my own chart?
By rotation from the seventh: their spouse is the seventh from the seventh, your own first house, which is the chart’s way of saying the relationship is really about you; their children are your eleventh, the circle you would join; their home your tenth, their money your eighth. The whole of their life sits in your houses, and the reading gives it as a map of what you have taken on and of where the strain falls, since their spouse in your first house is the reason the relationship costs you your sense of self.
What does a horary say about a relationship with a married person?
Asked once, sincerely, it reads the seventh lord’s condition, the reception and the aspect between the first and seventh lords, and the Moon, and answers the question as asked; and its geometry answers the question underneath, since the other person’s marriage is the seventh from the seventh, your own first house, so “will he leave his wife” is, in the horary’s arithmetic, a question about you and your season. A void or separating Moon is the horary saying the querent has already decided, which the reading reports as your own mind.
Two calendars side by side, and your own window by date: the reading that does not pretend to know his choice.
A relationship consultation reads your chart first, the pattern that drew you, the house the relationship lives in and the seventh lord's sub-period that is your own marriage window, then his marriage's seasons from his chart if you have it, for what a chart can say and not for what it cannot, and lays the two calendars side by side so that the decision is yours and made with the dates in front of you.